29/08/2006

Malaysian National Excuses part 2

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Cap Kapak

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police road block.

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere as long as it is not your house

NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
CARREFOUR
Sometimes pronounced as Carry 4. On second thoughts, why bother pronouncing French brands like Peugeout, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better, when the local mechanics say 'pew jeot'. When I was in school, Milo was always 'mee lo', now that I'm sophisticated, I say 'My Lo'.

28/08/2006

Malaysian National Excuses part 1

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Maggi Mee and Aji-no-moto

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rushed into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food poisoning

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual pain

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
supply, Headache, kids not aslpee, maid not aslpee, mother-in-law around, early appointment, food not digested yet, aircond not cold enough, aircond too cold, nail polish not dry yet, forgot to take the pill, sleepy, stomach cramps, period, haven't remove make-up, haven't shower, no watergoing to watch "Santa Barbara", depress, no modd, etc ....

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None

20/08/2006

Short but Cute

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she
needs some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy,
I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against
the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in
jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not,
you can NOT"

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture
of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now,
you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

18/08/2006

88



12/08/2006

The Chauffeur

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into
the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver
notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver,"Would you 
please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they 
never let me drive atthe Vatican when I was a cardinal,
and I' d really like to drive today."
"I 'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do  
that. I 'd lose my job! And what if something should
happen?" protests the driver, wishing he 'd never gone
to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something
extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope  
climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets
his decision when, after exiting the airport, the
Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
(Remember, he 's a German Pope.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried  
driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until
they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license and my job!"
moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the 
cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes
back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the  dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that 
he 's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he' s really  
important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,"All the more  reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit  
of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the  Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "The Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "The President?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is  it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes
you think it's God?"
Cop: "He' s got the Pope as a  chauffeur."

04/08/2006

Don't Waste Water

02/08/2006

Old Tree at Tamu Inobong