23 hours ago
A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she
needs some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy,
I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against
the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in
jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not,
you can NOT"
Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture
of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now,
you didn't tell me you had a prescription."
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into
the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver
notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver,"Would you
please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they
never let me drive atthe
when I was a cardinal, Vatican
and I' d really like to drive today."
"I 'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do
that. I 'd lose my job! And what if something should
happen?" protests the driver, wishing he 'd never gone
to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something
extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope
climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets
his decision when, after exiting the airport, the
Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
(Remember, he 's a German Pope.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried
driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until
they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license and my job!"
moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the
cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes
back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that
he 's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he' s really
important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed,"All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Chief: "The Governor?"
Chief: "The President?"
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes
you think it's God?"
Cop: "He' s got the Pope as a chauffeur."